Some times I’m just plain dumb.

Our kids have always travelled very well in the car, so well in fact the car has kinda been Glenn and my escape from the endless chatter of life. When we go for a long drive up the mountains or down the coast the kids all fall asleep and Glenn and I have time once again to throw ourselves into the long forgotten art of conversation. That was until I bought Usborne Activity Cards 50 Things to do on a journey in a stupid moment of weakness.

To be fair this little pack has some great games in it one where the "It" person is asked questions and when responding to the question asked they must give the answer to the previous question has had our family in hysterics. But the worsted by far is "The Endless Story" Even worse than the game itself is that it is so easy to play they no longer need the pack of cards to get going, they can bring this game up anywhere. cue: This Mornings Drive To School….

The game begins with the one person (in this cast Lani, it was her turn) starting a story, the story then continues with everyone else adding their piece of the pie in turn.

So Lani starts " Once upon a time there was a King" ( Like duh, didn’t see that one coming, all Lani’s stories start with a King, a Queen or a princess, preferable dressed in pink)

We run through a few relatively boring and fairly safe lines about the Kings choice of pyjamas and preference for breakfast cereal. Then Lilly introduces a friendly lion ( I don’t know maybe she thought the king was bored).

Eli follows with " Then Venom comes and bites the lion and he turns bad"

Lani who is next quickly counters with " But the king had some magic potion that made him nice again" The proud smile on her face says "Phew that was close lucky I managed to steer us back to the land of happy twinkly stuff."

Now imagine a run of increasingly animated lines in which our poor lion managed to be bitten swallow or inhale every possible concoction that could cause him to magically switch sides. The poor guy either has a serious split personality disorder or he is the best double agent the fairy realm has ever seen.

I come to the realization, as small angelic fingers wrap around equally angelic necks and hair is ripped out by the roots, that it might be time for me to intervene.

So as Billy Joel pleads with that pianist to sing him a song on the radio and Sabi gurgles happily and flaps her feet, I point out to the boy that this particular narrative has run its course and that the lion is going to remain the kings friend and if I hear mention of another highly potent lion transformation device he will have to learn sign language as I will not let him utter another sound until Christmas.

Lilly’s Line "so the lion and the king go outside to play"

Eli " and then evil Superman with a very big kryptonite hand eats the lion"

Lani " The King…." ( cut off by a very defiant Lilly)

Lilly " But then the lion came back to life and ate the evil superman with a very big kryptonite hand"

Eli " Well then the lion spat him out because evil superman with a kryptonite hand is now a zombie"

At this point I would like to add the volume is reaching a critical pitch and poor Lani looks like she is watching a tennis match were instead of hitting tennis balls across the nets at each other the opponents are hurling knives.

"Well" screams Lilly as billy Joel rabbits on about being so good at playing the piano people give him sandwiches in a jar " the Zombie Lion eats the Zombie Superman with the kryptonite hand FASTER"

"Ahhhggghhh" Responds Eli

Then Lani has a moment of inspiration, sometimes this girl is quite cluey.

"Hey guys, we’re almost at school if we don’t stop this one now we won’t have time to do another story, It’s Lilly’s turn"

It’s amazing how fast claws can retract and glary eyed fang baring killer faces can slide into a smile. Lilly is beaming and Eli is fine because you all know you cannot go against the rule of taking turns, its sacred.

So peace descends like an over stuffed quilt muffling the memories of two seconds ago, even Billy Joel is just la la laing in the background.

Lilly begins " Once upon a time, THERE WAS A SUPER BAD AND VERY BIG GIANT BEAR!"